#23 "The Lord Be Between Thee and Me For Ever"

1 Sam. 18-20 & 23-24
Where are my bread bakers? How many recipes did you have to try or tweak to get just the right bread recipe? What would you say was the most important ingredient? Flour? Sugar? Yeast? Salt? What if we left out the salt? It is such a small amount what difference does that little bit of salt make? It makes a huge difference because salt brings in the flavor and enhances all the other ingredients, salt is also a preservative. Let’s talk about the process behind making it? Is kneading the dough a critical element in making it wonderful? Is the order with which we add ingredients important? Is it safe to say then that the process with which you make bread just as important as what goes into it?

What would you say are some critical ingredients in a true friendship? Honesty, trust, loyalty, love, support, shoulder or ear to cry on or listen to, optimistic, kindness, charity, unselfishness, integrity, etc. just as salt is a critical element in bread despite it’s small quantity, so are all these qualities.

True friendship to me is a critical thing in our lives.
We need to measure very carefully who our true friends are. The measure of a true friend is one who will not have us choose between his way and the Lord's way. A true friend makes it easier for us to live the commandments of the Lord. A true friend will not let us do anything we want. True friends will correct us when we do something wrong and bring us back on the straight and narrow path that leads to exaltation.

Every one of us needs to know when to walk or run away from those who would call themselves friends but in reality are not. Joseph of old recognized the evil in Potiphar's wife and ran from it (see Gen. 39:7—12). We too must recognize evil and shun it. If we allow machoism to overtake our personal lives and influence choices and decisions we make, we can severely limit our progression in this life and in the eternities (Robert D. Hales, "Return with Honor," Ensign, June 1999, 12).


What if you were to take away one of those ingredients? Let’s just take away optimism you can have friends who are negative right? Or will that negative attitude eventually get old and get in the way of you wanting to spend time with them?
I have made it a practice to surround myself with friends who are optimistic so that when I get feeling grumpy and down they can help lift me up.
What is that old saying though? If you want a friend with all these qualities you yourself must have them right? What if I was always grumpy, negative and down? How long would that friendship last?

Now what about the process in making a friend what must happen throughout the process of making a friend? Kneading the dough is critical in making light fluffy bread, so is the process behind developing a true friendship. Our friendship is developed through our experiences together. This is illustrated through the story of Jonathon and David. They both exhibited the same qualities in their friendship as we talked about above. It is true that in order for some of these qualities to come to light they had to experience some trying things together, help each other through some tough times as well as have some good times to solidify their relationship. We are going to go through their story and point out some of the things that strengthened their relationship as well as develop the qualities needed in a friendship.

We start at the beginning where they first met. David had just killed Goliath and had just come back and spoke to Saul. When they had finished speaking the attitude of Jonathon concerning David was this: 1 Sam. 18:1 He loved him as his own soul. Now how could someone love someone so deeply just because David stated that he killed a little old giant, and he was the “son of thy servant Jesse the Beth-lehemite” (17:58)? Jonathon could’ve looked at David a cocky punk kid who just got lucky, but he didn’t, he had to do something first, he had to open up his heart to this boy and respect and love him. Sometimes in this day and age it’s hard to open up our hearts to others, maybe you’ve been burned before, and maybe you’ve told yourself for so long that you don’t need any more friends. How do we open up our hearts? First we have to put ourselves in places where we can meet new friends that may mean going to ward things. We had a RS bbq last Thursday, those who came had a great time, we met new friends, strengthened old friendships, laughed, experienced good food and new recipes and learned a new skill. If you’ve ever heard yourself say, “I don’t know anyone in this ward or I don’t have any friends in this ward” ask yourself if you make it a priority to go to ward things where you meet new people and open your hearts up to them.
The phrase where David tells them that he is the “son of thy servant Jesse” tells me that he was proud of who he was and where he came from, he also stated that Jesse was “thy” servant meaning that he was a loyal subject to him as king.

So what does Jonathon do next? 1 Sam 18:3 He makes a covenant with him to always treat him with kindness and respect, to always be aware of one another and help each other. A covenant, you remember is a two-way thing.

1 Sam 18:4 Jonathan gives him all he has, his clothing and weapons. His robe is very symbolic; His robe is his very authority as future king. He is willing to follow him and love him even though he’s going to be taking over the throne that should’ve been his.
This brings up two important friendship qualities unselfishness-he gave him all he had. This also exhibits helpfulness he wanted to help him, and didn’t ask for anything in return.
*I have a family member who always offers his help to his family members however, after he helps he expects something in return, and if he doesn’t get it he talks bad about you to others and he won’t help again. Are we willing to help gladly or do expect a ‘thank you’ or cookies or money? Think about that. On the other hand I have friends and family who help me with things and never expect anything back. My mom for example made half of the cinnamon rolls because she loves to do it and wanted to help me. She didn’t expect anything back. I strive to be like that with my friends and family.

Through this experience, let’s look at David- 1 Sam. 18:5 He behaved himself wisely meaning he had total bragging rights for killing Goliath; however he was humble, accepted the gifts from Jonathon with thankfulness and humility.

1Sam. 18:7-9 we know that women and people were building up David as a grand hero. Saul being a not-so-great friend allowed himself to get jealous. Jonathon had his day in battle and made some major accomplishments (1 Sam 14:1-16) but his name wasn’t even mentioned in the song and yet he didn’t get jealous. When good things happen to our friends are we excited for them or do we allow ourselves to get jealous of their successes.

Because of Saul’s jealousy he seeks to kill David, Jonathon was a true friend and helps David, this puts trust between them, 1 Sam 19:1-3 David had no real reason to trust Jonathon, how does he know that if Jonathon had to choose between his own father and him, how would he know that he wouldn’t turn on him. He doesn’t but this experience built trust. Sometimes when we go through tough times and we allow our friends to help us we build that foundation of trust.

To build that trust with our friends we don’t need to save their lives, but we can start small by making dinner for them, and show them that we didn’t kill them even though we had every opportunity to spike the food. (J/K) Can we take turns tending each other’s kids? Can we build trust by going places together? Or just by talking with each other and keeping those things confident? Small things build trust.

1 Sam 19:4 Jonathon spoke good of David unto Saul. Do we speak good of others? When I am meeting someone new I try hard to notice the things they say about others. If they are kind I know that they are people I want to be around more often. If they are unkind to their friends when they aren’t there then I know that they aren’t going to be too nice about me behind my back either, so I won’t be rude but I will keep my distance. This is one I struggle with daily. To be honest people frustrate me and I don’t understand them and my first instinct is to be wary and I am not always kind in my opinion with others either, but I am learning that I need to keep this big mouth shut so that I am not that same kind of person that I don’t appreciate.

1 Sam. 20:18 In this chapter David is trying to tell Jonathon that his father is seeking his life again, Jonathon promises to look into it. David tells him that he can’t go to the feast at the palace because of threat on his life. Jonathon tells him that he will be missed. When we have noticed that someone hasn’t been to church in a while do we get off our chairs and walk over and tell them they have been missed, or that their absence has left emptiness? Everyone needs reassurance that they are needed and missed even if they don’t hold a calling. Sometimes it’s hard to get out of our comfort zone, but that is what a good friend does. Okay so maybe you’re the type of person that says, “why should I go out of my way to tell them they were missed, I don’t care if people tell me I’m missed and I think those who need people to say that just so they go to church are a bunch of pansies!” I understand that too, however if you knew that purple pansy was going to be the one to help your spouse or son or daughter to become active again or feel of worth and you did nothing, when all you needed to do was to say 3 words, “you’ve been missed” then how would you feel? That’s were unselfish kindness comes in doesn’t it?

1 Sam 20:41-42 & 23:16 How many of you are willing to cry with your friends? Jonathon just found out Saul was trying to kill him and he has to let David go escape to save his life and they are both devastated. Are you willing to cry with you friends? Or are you the type that stands back and says, they are obviously dealing with some major issues I think I will just allow them to work them out privately? Sometimes that is needed, but other times it helps just to put yourself in a position of being that shoulder if they need one by offering to go get some ice cream or go hit some softballs at the park together. Sometimes that opportunity to talk it out really helps them gain the perspective they need to get through their issues.

1 Sam 24:4-5 David runs across Saul in a cave and has every opportunity to kill him, however he couldn’t do it. He felt bad for cutting off the hem of his skirt, which the footnote signifies is symbolic for cutting off his authority. Saul had taken David’s family and home from him as well as tried to kill him several times; David has every right to hate the guy and want to kill him, yet he forgives and let’s things go because of respect (1 Sam. 24:10)

Wouldn’t you want your friends to be forgiving to you when you do things that may be hurtful? Then we also need to be as David and say 1 Sam. 24:12 I will forgive and forget and still be loving and kind and let the Lord take care of the rest.

Through Jonathon and David’s friendship and the experiences that they went through we see the strong bonds that were forged and lasted forever. We too can make wonderful friendships that will last forever if we exemplify the same qualities that they both exhibited. I know that to make and be true friends we need to put into our bread exactly what we want to get out of it. It is not just about adding ingredients it is a process with steps that we need to take; effort needs to be expended in order to make the end result something which will edify everyone involved. Above all that make sure your friendships are forged with the Lord between them and that will make the recipe one that you can use forever! In the name of Jesus Christ amen.